Quotes

Huda: You should write a book of all my quotes.
Rema: Not everything you say is a good quote.
Huda: What are you talking about?? EVERYTHING that comes out of my mouth is stupid!

Jaanu's Jaan

It has been a year and 3 months since I first met BK at ISNA 2005. She was at her brother's booth in the bazaar and I was walking by with some friends who knew her. I had met her before, but only exchanged salaams at the Masjid. After our little encounter at the bazaar, that was it. I basically told her my life story and after that weekend, we were Jaanus for life.

We have been through so much this past year. We've had good moments and bad. But all in all I love her and so it is my absolute pleasure to make the announcement that my dear Jaanu Bushra Khan is officially engaged to Br. Jawwad Ahmad of Rawalpindi, Pakistan.

May Allah swt bless this union and give them both a lifetime of happiness. And bless Br. Jawwad with lots of patience :) hehehe

MABROOOOK! I LOVE YOU JAANU!

RIS 5

I'm so excited! woohoo!

The Other Side of BK

Aside from BK's very 'American' upbringing with girl scouts and little league, as well as her political activism as the office manager of the Council on American Islamic Relations - Arizona she still retains the essence of FOBBBINESS.

As I was trying to discuss a serious issue with her, she interrupts with "jaanu if this happens i would be so happy for them!" (note the exclamation mark) She then proceeds to send me this "Temple visit fuels wedding rumour". Then she adds "but good that he gets ash, they would be so cute together."

I must admit, I'm quite the bollywood fan. BUT as much as I don't care to know whats going on in the lives of Hollywood celebs, I also don't care about the lives of the actors and actresses in India.

And people accuse me of being fobby?

oh well...

For Soondus

Must Update!

I googled "must update blog" in photos and this is one of the pics that came up. enjoy... :)

"Exploding Whale Update"

A dead sperm whale being transported through Tainan City suddenly exploded yesterday, splattering cars and shops with blood and guts. The 17m, 45-tonne carcass was being taken on a flat-bed trailer-truck for an autopsy. "Because of the natural decomposing process, a lot of gases accumulated, and when the pressure build-up was too great, the whale's belly just exploded," marine biologist Professor Wang Chien-ping said.

@ngie's thoughts: Anwar Al-Awlaki in prison ?!

@ngie's thoughts: Anwar Al-Awlaki in prison ?!

I smell :(

I've had a million things to blog about since eid, but i was either too lazy or had no time. Then when I did have time it felt like the time had passed and wasn't worth it. Here are a few highlights:

Eid Day: After lunch Noreen and I drove to Basima's house. Driving to Basima's house for some reason is ALWAYS and adventure. This time we were driving down a road and it just kinda ended. We decided to keep going anyway and found ourselves on a dirt road with an empty field on one side and a canal 3 feet away from us on the other side. Before that while we were on the regular street we got stuck behind a truck spraying water everywhere and after passing on the shoulder made a huge mess on my car. Later that night we went to Amazing Jakes and had tons of fun playing laser tag and getting cut off by AF and AM on the go carts.

Tonight: We went to fiddlesticks for AH's birthday and rode the go carts this time a lot more fun than at Amazing Jakes. I'm very surprised that the boys didn't get kicked out for their reckless behavior. In my last race, a few cars crashed and started spraying gasoline in myself and US's faces. That wasn't very pleasant. I also totally lost in mini-golf to YA, SH, and FH who came out on top.

I'm totally beat and I smell like a mechanic. Hope this update suffices for another week or so :P

Eid Mubarak and Good Night!

PS... Jaanu comes back Monday! WOOHOO!


And finally i just had to put this picture up becuase HN looks really gay playing DDR!

Eid Mubarak!

Outside the Bubble

**ya i know this is really reallly long and most of you will not read it. but just skim it. this is about the city i'm from in palestine. its amazing and kinda sucks since having been there so many time i've never expericened what is in this article. it was never like this when i was there. maybe i was too young or just never exposed to it.


[This piece was recently written by a Baruch College professor of Jewish background. He is a Political Science professor and teaches Middle Eastern Studies. He is currently in Israel/Palestine; read what he has to say!]


Outside the Bubble -- My visit to Hebron (By Dov Waxman)

After only a month of living in Tel Aviv, I had comfortably entered
"the bubble." This is the popular expression in Israel for life in
Tel Aviv ¨C laidback, relaxed, hedonistic, far removed from the piety
of Jerusalem, or the dangers of the West Bank and Gaza. Just as New
York feels so different from the rest of America, so too Tel Aviv
feels cut off from rest of Israel and, especially, from the
Palestinian territories. An oasis of sorts.

Comfortable and pleasant though it is to be in Tel Aviv, I didn't
leave New York to go from one bubble to another. I had to get out, at
least occasionally. So, I jumped at the chance to go on a trip to the
West Bank city of Hebron led by recently discharged Israeli combat
soldiers who served in the territories during the recent Intifada.
They are part of a group called "Breaking the Silence"
(http://www.shovrimshtika.org/index_en.as... and their mission is to
educate Israelis about the reality of the occupation and the terrible
things that Israeli soldiers do towards Palestinians on a daily basis.

A group of about 30 of us left by bus from Jerusalem and drove along
the main highway that runs the length of Israel and cuts through the
West Bank. Along the way, I could see little of the beautiful
landscape of the West Bank because of the massive cement blocks lining
the road -- known by Israelis as "the security barrier" and by
Palestinians as "the wall." Further into the West Bank, the wall
ended and along the road I saw Palestinian villages, farmers in their
fields, and men selling grapes and vegetables by the roadside. Due to
Israeli restrictions on Palestinian movement, it is not possible for
Palestinians to move from one area of the West Bank to another.
Hence, they cannot easily trade their goods. Since it is grape
harvesting season, I saw vineyards with trees with bunches of grapes
rotting in the midday sun. The only way to sell the grapes is to
Israeli settlers who use them to make wine -- a sin for Muslims. Thus
farmers must violate their religious beliefs and sell their grapes to
"the enemy" at discount prices, or else do without selling their only
produce. Most choose not to sell their grapes.

After a 45-minute drive, we reached the Jewish settlement of Kiryat
Arba on the outskirts of Hebron. This settlement, of about 6,700
settlers, is notorious for being the place where Baruch Goldstein
lived -- the perpetrator of a massacre of 29 Muslims worshippers in
Hebron in 1994. Today, his burial site is there -- a local shrine for
the residents and other settlers -- in a park named after Meir Kahane,
the Brooklyn Rabbi who founded "Kach," a racist, quasi-fascist
organization that support the expulsion of all Arabs from the Land of
Israel. After being held up at the gates to the settlement (the armed
security guards didn't want us to enter -- contrary to Israeli law),
we were eventually allowed to enter, but not to disembark from the
bus. We drove through Kiryat Arba, which looked like a nice suburb --
green landscaped lawns, children's playgrounds, clean streets. After
leaving Kiryat Arab, we arrived in Hebron.

Hebron, the second largest Palestinian city in the West Bank, was the
first West Bank town Jewish settlers moved into after the territory
was captured by Israel in the 1967 war. The settlers there are among
the most fanatical of all the settlers in the territories, and the
city is a hotbed of Jewish right-wing religious radicalism. Since
1997, control over the city has been divided between Israel and the
Palestinian Authority, with the latter controlling about 80% of the
city (an area known as "H1"). The remaining 20% ("H2") is held by
Israeli troops who protect the approx. 600-strong Jewish community
living there, surrounded by about 30,000 Palestinians stranded in H2.

As soon as you arrive in Hebron, past a checkpoint entering the city,
you feel like you have entered a war zone. Heavily armed soldiers are
everywhere, and checkpoints and roadblocks are at regular intervals
along the roads. There is barbed wire, demolished buildings,
camouflaged military installations (some on the top floors of
Palestinian houses). As we walked along "Martyrs Street" -- the main
commercial thoroughfare -- we were accompanied by a patrol of eight
soldiers who walked ahead of us and by our sides, their fingers at the
trigger of their machine guns in case we came under attack from
Palestinian snipers in the Palestinian-controlled areas on the
hillsides (the Israeli-controlled area lies in the valley). The
soldiers looked so young -- just 18 or 19 year-old boys -- and I felt
sorry for them as they nervously glanced around to protect our group.

We walked past shuttered shops that had long since been forced to
close or whose owners had been intimidated to leave. Imagine walking
down Broadway in the middle of the day, and every shop is boarded up,
no one is walking on the street, there are no cars. This is
Israeli-occupied Hebron. It is a ghost town. Eerily empty and
silent, except for the occasional noise of an army jeep speeding
along. The reason there were no Palestinians on the street was
because they are now forbidden from driving or walking along it.
Indeed, many of the streets in Hebron have now been "sanitized" of
Palestinians (the term used by our guide). Whenever an attack happens
such as a stabbing or a shooting -- whether by a Palestinian or a
settler -- the army's response is to close off another street to
Palestinians. Hence, street-by-street, Hebron is being "cleansed" of
its Palestinians residents. They cannot move around the city, they
cannot walk or drive down many streets, or open their shops, or even
leave their homes due to the frequent 24-hour curfews imposed whenever
violence occurs. Occasionally, I catch a glimpse of a young
Palestinian child in a window above us as we walk by. A prisoner in
their home.

There is graffiti on many of the boarded-up shops ¨C "Jews only,"
"Death to the Arabs." It makes my skin crawl, reminding me of the
anti-Jewish graffiti once daubed by Nazi thugs on Jewish shops. On
some walls, there are also memorial plaques to Jewish settlers killed
by Palestinians -- the most famous such murder was that of a
10-month-old baby shot by a Palestinian sniper in September 2001.
Neither Jewish settler nor Palestinian is safe here. They both fear
and loathe each other.

We passed one of the many checkpoints in the city and I watched a few
Palestinians pass through it. One man was stopped and three soldiers
questioned him as he showed them his ID. Nothing out of the ordinary.
But the tension was palpable. It felt like something might erupt at
any moment. The silence broken by gunfire or an explosion.

Further along our route, passed rubbish-strewn empty markets,
abandoned homes with broken windows, we reached an area where settlers
lived. Strangely, for me, this was the most nerve-wracking part of
the tour as we were told to walk quickly and quietly and keep to one
side of the street. "If they scream at you or insult you, don't
respond," we were instructed by our guide (a former army sergeant in
Hebron). "Be careful in case rocks are thrown at you." Everyone
moved in one long, silent procession. Suddenly, somewhere in the
distance, we heard what sounded like a gunshot. Some people jumped,
others hunched up in fear. I walked quickly, trying not to panic. At
least, the soldiers were with us.

We then walked up a rocky hillside to visit the home of a Palestinian
family. As we scrambled up the dusty path, past piles of rubbish
(empty boxes of donations from the International Committee of the Red
Cross), I thought of what it must be like to do this every day, to and
from school, work, or the market. This is the only route that the
Palestinians living in the area can take since the road is off-limits
to them. Even when they are sick, they must be carried down the
hillside. We reach the house of the Palestinian family who will tell
us about the violence and harassment they endure from the settlers.
Their garden is filled with trash -- thrown down by settlers who live
up the hill above them -- their windows are covered with metal grating
and bars to stop the rocks that are thrown at them. They have had
their electricity and phone lines cut, their water tank broken. Their
daughter -- a very pretty young girl -- needs an escort to get to
school on Saturdays because the settler kids (who do not attend school
on Sabbath and thus are free to hang out) throw stones at her and her
fellow students. The Palestinian man greets us all warmly and briefly
recounts the intimidation and attacks his family and him face. He
speaks calmly, without anger, just a quiet determination to not give
in, but to continue to live in what was previously his father's house.
I feel ashamed. I want to tell him that I am a Jew and that these
people (the settlers) do not represent me, or many others like me.
But I cannot speak. As I leave, I say to him and his wife and
children, one by one, "Salaam Aleikum" ("peace be upon you"). I mean
it so much.

We scramble back down the hillside to the main road. The sun is
beginning to set and the Muslim call to prayer beckons from the
minarets of the mosques in Palestinian-controlled Hebron. We gather
by the side of the road and our guide tells us about his time serving
as a soldier in Hebron just a year earlier. He was a grenade machine
gun operator and each night he had to fire grenades in the direction
of Palestinian gunfire. But they were never sure of where the
shooting was coming from, so he simply fired his grenades at
Palestinian buildings in the distance. Maybe he killed a "terrorist,"
maybe a civilian. He couldn't know, and after a while, he ceased to
care. He told us about the moral numbness that soldiers develop
serving in the territories. How their once clear moral values become
confused. "Right" and "wrong" become meaningless concepts. He tells
us that Israeli society can't bear to know what is being done in its
name. When your husband, son, or brother has served in the
territories, do you really want to know what they did? For the most
part, Israeli society is unaware of what is really going on in the
territories and the moral corruption of their young men it entails.

I was asked to read to the group the following testimony by a soldier:
"I was ashamed of myself the day I realized that I simply enjoy the
feeling of power. I don't believe in it: I think this is not the way
to do anything to anyone, surely not to someone who has done nothing
to you, but you can't help but enjoy it. People do what you tell
them. You know it's because you carry a weapon. Knowing that if you
didn't have it, and if your fellow soldiers weren't beside you, they
would jump on you, beat the shit out of you, and stab you to death¡ªyou
begin to enjoy it. Not merely enjoy it, you need it. And then, when
someone suddenly says "No" to you, what do you mean no? Where do you
draw the chutzpah from, to say no to me? Forget for a moment that I
actually think that all those Jews are mad, and I actually want peace
and believe we should leave the territories, how dare you say no to
me? I am the Law! I am the Law here! And then you sort of begin to
understand that it makes you feel good. I remember a very specific
situation: I was at a checkpoint, a temporary one, a so-called
strangulation checkpoint, it was a very small checkpoint, very
intimate, four soldiers, no commanding officer, no protection worthy
of the name, a true moonlighting job, blocking the entrance to a
village. From one side a line of cars wanting to get out, and from the
other side a line of cars wanting to pass, a huge line, and suddenly
you have a mighty force at the tip of your fingers, as if playing a
computer game. I stand there like this, pointing at someone, gesturing
to you to do this or that, and you do this or that, the car starts,
moves toward me, halts beside me. The next car follows, you signal, it
stops. You start playing with them, like a computer game. You come
here, you go there, like this. You barely move, you make them obey the
tip of your finger. It's a mighty feeling. It's something you don't
experience elsewhere. You know it's because you have a weapon, you
know it's because you are a soldier, you know all this, but its
addictive. When I realized this... I checked in with myself to see
what had happened to me. That's it. And it was a big bubble that
burst. I thought I was immune, that is, how can someone like me, a
thinking, articulate, ethical, moral man¡ªthings I can attest to about
myself without needing anyone else to validate for me. I thought of
myself as such. Suddenly, I notice that I'm getting addicted to
controlling people."

After I finished reading, nobody spoke, and in silence we boarded the
bus to take us back down the long road we had walked to the Tomb of
the Patriarchs or "Cave of Machpelah." This is the place containing
the tombs of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, and their three wives -- a
shrine for Jews and Muslims. I entered the synagogue after passing
through a security checkpoint and metal detector. Inside a few
religious Jews were praying and studying religious texts. Is this
what it is all for? Is everything I have seen and heard today for
this? Surely, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (the Jewish "patriarchs")
would not want this? After all, Jews and Muslims are both the
descendants of Abraham. Standing in front of Abraham's tomb, I
wondered what he might think about the modern city in which he lies
buried.

Finally, it was time to return to Jerusalem. As we walked back to the
bus, a few local settlers had gathered to see us off. They shouted at
us "Nazis," "anti-Semites," "Arab lovers." One was even filming us
with a video camera, perhaps to intimidate us. I didn't respond to
their taunts and insults. I didn't want to be drawn down to their
level.

I sat on the bus full of outrage and sadness. I cannot just forget
about everything I have seen. I cannot do nothing. But what can I
do? What difference can I make?

Later that night, I arrived back in Tel Aviv. At first, I felt a
relief to be back in carefree and fun-loving Tel Aviv, such a contrast
to the oppressive atmosphere of Hebron. But as I walked past bars and
cafes filled with young people, down streets with young couples making
out and teenagers hanging out, suddenly it all seemed slightly
sinister to me. How could all this happen while not very far away
there was a place like Hebron and an occupation in which both occupied
and occupier are paying a terrible price? For a moment, it was
unbearable. How can I live like this, in this place, of such terrible
contrasts? Walking home, I felt so removed from my surroundings, as
if I had arrived from a different planet. And then I realized why
people in Tel Aviv do not leave their "bubble." Because they know
that outside the bubble, there is fear, hatred, suffering, and death,
and they feel helpless to do anything about it. So how else can you
live? Only by shutting yourself off from that other reality and
enclosing yourself in a bubble.

i love foamy soap :)

Real Shabaab

Check out Real Shabaab fan club on the EVSL Cup website. They took it off now. So here it is. Just for Atifa :)

Real Shabaab had a tough first 2 weeks. They played hard, but it wasn't enough to pull out a win. InshaAllah after ramadan, they will be back to full strength and start winning.

Anyone interested in coming to watch, they play on Sunday mornings at 8am at Snedigar Park.

The 9th Annual MSA West Conference

bismillah irraHman irraHim

assalam `alaykum wa raHmat ALLAHi wa barakatuhu

((( SAVE THE DATE )))

The 9th Annual MSA West Conference

`Ibad ur-Rahman

(Servents of the Most Gracious)

@ Cal Poly Pomona

January 12th - 14th, 2007

Please mark your calenders and spread the word!! More information to come inshaa' Allah

&

Ramadan Mubarak

from MSA West!

Interested in carpooling? E-mail msaasu@gmail.com

In the Shade of Ramadan: Daily Reflections

A series of educational and motivational reflections on the month of Ramadan featuring Suhaib Webb, Imad Bayoun, Marwan Marouf and Muslema Purmul.

masyouth.org


Thirty episodes produced and uploaded daily by MAS Youth ( http://www.masyouth.org), as a gift to all young Muslims in search of a meaningful Ramadan.

Baby Cryers

Tonight was the Annual CAIR-AZ Fundraising Banquet. Alhumduilah it went pretty well for the most part. We raised over $100,000 which means that BK gets to get paid. Yay for her!

So while I was roaming around pretending to look important NE comes up to me and said that one of the babysitters needs to find some baby's parents becuase he wouldn't stop crying. Since we didn't get parents info when they dropped off their children, this would have been a quite diffifult task. So I just ignored him and went back into the banquet hall. About 10 minutes later the babysitter comes whaltzing into the hall holding baby. She tells me the same story that NE had relayed earlier and hands me the baby. She told me to walk around the aisles until his parents see him. I felt very uncomfortable doing that and since the baby wasn't crying I just held him and continued listening to the speech. I walked around the back and side of the room for about 20 min just holding him. He was very cute mashaAllah, but miskeen he kept doing that thing you do when you've been crying for a really long time. You know that weird breathing thing....anyway so then I ran into RA and was like dude walk with me, I gotta get rid of this baby. She was like no that will look wierd. Go by yourself. Just then, the babysitter comes strolling in AGAIN this time with a 2 year old at her side. So RA takes the baby and we both start walking through the middle of the room. Alhumdulilah very soon after that we found both thier mothers.

Then me and RA went back to pretending to look important :)

Disgruntled Readers

I was chatting with one of my good friends tonight and I was scolded for not updating my blog. Here is how the conversation went:

Her: I’m disappointed
Me: LOL
Me: ur disappointed???
Her: yes but I didn’t tell u why yet
Me: why
Her: because ur blog is EXTREMELY outdated
Her: I like to check it once in a while
Her: and when I do...I expect a new post
Her: but I’m still caught on that pazookie u attempted to make
Me: ur so demanding
Her: no madam
Her: ur blog is
Me: I don't now if I can commit to this kind of relationship
Her: not me
Her: well ur just gonna have to
Her: ur binded by a contract
Me: what contact???
Me: it’s MY blog!
Me: MY rules!
Her: no madam
Her: blog on the INTERNET ... INTERNET rules
Her: and rule number 125478 states
Her: One who owns blog, shall update as needed. Need is determined by readers.
Her: and since I am a reader
Me: u just gave me my new blog post :P
Her: WUT
Her: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Her: I hate talking to u
Me: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL

My apologies to all those who read my blog. I hope this was the least bit entertaining and will hold you over until I can come up with a decent post.

BTW…considering this friend almost NEVER comments, I don’t know why her opinion should matter! *hint* *hint*

Pazookie!

Today, Hadi and I hung out all day. We were just chillin early on then we decided to play cards. We played tuung and go fish with actual fish cards. Then he helped me clean the kitchen. He put the dishes away while I did the dishes. And then we made chocolate chip cookies and a PAZOOKIE! It was so yummy! Hadi is an awesome help!

Finally Someone Who Agrees....

Happy Housewives

by Stephanie Berger

published on Thursday, March 9, 2006
ASU State Press Magazine

Marina Mercer has already done more by 11:00 a.m. than some students do all day. The nursing freshman is on the women's volleyball team, and has to practice every morning for two or three hours. Her blonde ponytail bobbing as she walks through a labyrinth of corridors at Wells Fargo Arena, Mercer explains that she only had to practice for two hours today because she's been sick.

"You don't really get days off," she says, pausing to unlock the door to the locker room. Sitting down on a maroon leather couch, Mercer looks like the poster child for the University in her corresponding gold "ASU Athletics" T-shirt.

Mercer is at ASU on an athletics scholarship that she got recruited for when she was a junior in high school. Mercer is also extremely smart; she got straight A's her first semester at ASU. But she says she is no stranger to academic success; she had a 4.4 GPA in high school and balanced multiple extracurricular activities.

Someday, Mercer would like to go to medical school and become a doctor like her sister, who is currently studying medicine at the University of Arizona. But Mercer has other goals as well.

She'd like to become a trophy wife.

The term "trophy wife" brings to mind the image of a gorgeous, young woman, married to an old, rich man. This hypothetical beauty doesn't work a day in her life, and is her husband's perfect "trophy." In return for her company, her husband pays for her every whim and pampers her.

However, Mercer says this type of woman gives her concept of a trophy wife a bad name.

"I want to be irreplaceable," she says. "I want to be a great mom and a great wife. I want to stay in shape and be pretty, but more importantly, I want to have a good job and to be socially respected. I want it to be like, 'wow look at this girl that I won. She does it all.' That's my trophy wife definition."

Mercer isn't alone in her desire to do it all. Female students and women in general no longer have to fight for the right to take their places among the male lawyers, doctors and executives that have long dominated the corporate world. But some women today do feel they face a unique pressure: the desire to use their degrees to land high-powered jobs, while at the same time raising children and keeping their husbands happy.

While students like Mercer make plans for their futures, women in high-power positions, like associate professor Angela Trethewey, are living proof that while possible, "having it all" is a challenging endeavor.

"I admire young women for wanting to do it all, but you can't do it all yourself," says Trethewey, who teaches classes in organizational communication. "There's no way that I could feel like I was successful at my job and at parenting if I didn't have a partner who was willing to make compromises."

"You are my trophy wife"

Trethewey and four other women sit at a long conference table, chatting about hair dryers and children. But after the small talk, the women get down to business.

Trethewey says that women who choose to stay at home and raise children can be underappreciated.

"As a society, we don't value caretaking. We don't value domestic labor," she says to the other members of the Project for Wellness and Work Life, an ASU group that studies research on the intersection of private, domestic life and world of work.

Trethewey adds that women are given an unfair burden by society when they are forced to decide how they are going to solve the work-parenting dilemma.

"It's always, what are the choices that women must make in terms of parenting?" she says. "Those tasks should be shared more broadly."

As a working mom with a husband who is flexible enough to co-parent with her, Trethewey says she is extremely lucky. She and her husband both work and care for their 7-year-old, Anna. While she teaches Monday through Thursday, her husband stays home with their daughter -- taking her to school, doing homework, playing with her and often making dinner for the family. Friday through Saturday, Trethewey stays home with Anna while her husband works at Costco.

"Both my husband and I just love being parents, and we both think that's our most important work," she says. "But I get fulfillment from my work [at ASU], and I can't imagine not doing that. I think in many ways it makes me a better parent to go to work and feel intellectually engaged, and do things that are important to me and will continue to be important to me when Anna goes off to college," she adds.

Trethewey says that when she thinks of "trophy wives" who do nothing but cater to the needs of their families, she worries these women are too dependent.

"You should prepare to be self-sufficient," she says. "We expect men to be able to take care of themselves, and it's really important that we encourage young women to do the same."

"My husband says, 'you are my trophy wife,'' Trethewey says. "But he's just kidding. He knows I don't like that term."

"I just want to be around"

Mercer says she has complete respect for women who work full-time, but if possible, when her children are young, she doesn't want to be one of them.

Mercer would like to get married sometime between getting her undergraduate degree and graduating from medical school. She'd then like to take six to eight years off to raise her children before going into practice, hopefully with her sister or uncle.

"My mom was an executive. She was always at work and never around and I don't blame her for it --- she was the most amazing mom," Mercer says. "I just want to be around. I want to take the kids to ballet class and take them to piano and swimming lessons," she says.

As a freshman, Mercer has plenty of time to perfect her plan. While she is currently single, she says that she has a few prospects, and that she wouldn't marry anyone that she wasn't in love with first.

"Ideally I'd fall in love as soon as possible, and depending on what the guy wanted to do, we would either get married before I went to med school or during," Mercer says.

But Mercer says she knows that after graduating from medical school and then taking time off to raise children, going to work will be challenging.

Studies have shown that women who take time off from high-powered careers to raise children have an extremely difficult time re-entering the workforce. The 2005 Harvard Business Review article, "Off-Ramps and On-Ramps: Keeping Talented Women on the Road to Success," discusses a study done of more than 2,400 women and 650 men in lucrative, high-powered positions. The authors, Sylvia Hewlett and Carolyn Buck Luce, came to the following startling conclusions: 43 percent of women leave the workforce at some time, while only 24 percent of men take the same "off-ramps." Of women who seek "on-ramps" after their time away from the office, only 74 percent return to work, with only 40 percent returning to full-time jobs.

In addition, women who do make it back into the workforce lose an average of 18 percent of their earning power if they were absent for less than three years, and 37 percent if they were absent for more.

These figures are made more disturbing by the fact that the average length of time women took off from work was only 2.2 years. And according to this study, 58 percent of women take these "non-linear" paths in life.

"Don't push your views on other people"

In her pink jacket and flip-flops, nursing junior Jessica Gubbels says she wouldn't be trophy wife material even if she wanted to -- she says she's far too laid back to wear makeup and high heels to class every day.

But Gubbels' goal involves more diapers and burp rags than fancy cars and evening gowns, anyway.

She says she would like to graduate with her nursing degree and be a traveling nurse for a few years before settling down and having kids. But if possible, she'd like to be a stay-at-home mom and have her husband support the family.

Gubbels and her current boyfriend have been dating for five months, so she says that they've only discussed marriage casually. She says her boyfriend's mother stayed at home, and that he wouldn't mind her doing the same if they could financially afford it. But, Gubbels adds that she doesn't like to set any plans down in stone at this point in her life.

"I had this whole plan lined up, and as soon as I had gotten it down on paper, it seemed like nothing actually went the way I wanted it to," she says. "The second I put the pen on the paper I stopped going on dates. I seriously think it was bad karma. So the second I said, 'Just live life and forget about it,' that's when I met my boyfriend."

Although Gubbels emphasizes that school will give her the training necessary to work if she has to, she hopes that staying at home will be an option.

"I hope to be at home with my kids," says Gubbels, whose mother worked part-time from home for the studio that Gubbels danced at.

"I think because of that my childhood was completely different than some people who had to go to day care," she says. "If given the opportunity, I would much rather stay home than work, but I think if push comes to shove and you need to get things done, and you need money and you're struggling, I'm not the type of person who will stay at home and say, 'Oh, we're out of money? I just spent it on my $200 bag."

Gubbels says her nursing background will always give her something to fall back on, and provide her the kind of self-sufficiency that Trethewey says is so important.

"The best couples are people who are their own person -- you are yourself, he is himself, and then together you're 'we' or 'us,'" Gubbels says. "If I need to support myself, I'll get up and do it."

But Gubbels doesn't think she'd feel unfulfilled if she stayed at home, and she says she disagrees with women who see stay-at-home moms in a negative light.

"Taking care of kids and a house is just as challenging as running a corporate office," Gubbels says. "If I am the one who opts to stay home, that's something that I want. If I'm lacking something, I will choose to do whatever I want to make myself happy. You being in the workplace or you staying at home - that's your own personal preference. I see it as the same thing as religion: Don't push your views on other people."

Besides, Gubbels says, men are better suited for the working world.

"Because of how society is structured, men make more money and have a stronger will to feel a sense of pride and worth with their families when they're able to provide for them," she says. "I think that's just part of male nature - women always had the more nurturing, child-bearing roles."

Trethewey agrees that in today's society, both men and women still feel like they must adhere to certain gender roles. Trethewey says that while women are hesitant to pursue their ambitions, men feel like they have to support their families.

"Our understanding of what it means to be a good man is still pretty much tied to that breadwinner model," she says. "That limits men's ability to participate in other aspects of their lives that could be really fulfilling, like raising children."

"Obviously going to be hard"

All of these women agree that in the long run, finding balance in their lives will make whatever paths they take easier.

"If I was married to somebody that also had a full-time job, I think my daughter's experience would suffer," Trethewey says. "You have to have a partner that's willing to meet you halfway, and take on some of the domestic work and some of the child care."

Gubbles says that it's important that husbands appreciate their wives, whether they work in or out of the home.

"I think that a lot of stay-at-home moms don't get the respect that they need or want. It's important for the husband to show how much he cares for his wife and be proud of her for what she's done," Gubbles says. She adds that couples must be willing to grow and change together.

"When you get married, you have to agree that you're going to change together and work together," she says.

And Mercer says that she knows that making these agreements and balancing a family and a job will be tough. But she is willing to attempt to accomplish her unconventional trophy-wife ideal.

"You can't go to the spa every Thursday and get a massage and get your nails done, but you can find time to take your little girl to swim practice," she says. "It's a lot of selfless acts which are obviously going to be hard, but in the long run it's all worth it."

Qiyam was fun...

...we played jeopardy, ate, listened, discussed, prayed, and hiked.

Wife #1 or #2?

Most of you already know that Huda and I have been at the movie set the past two weekends as extras in the movie "The Kingdom". We star as Niqabi Wife #1 and Niqabi Wife #2 :) Were not sure which one is which. But we ditched the niqaab after the first day. Were hardly in any shots anyway. Oh well we still get paid :) Last weekend we actaully got to drive around instead of just sitting in a car all day. We also get really good food for lunch and breakfast. Its usually really loooong and hot and boring. But we have fun :)

MAS Youth Qiyam

Good Reminder

It's a commercial aired in the Middle East reminding what the Quran has said about gossiping about others behind their back.

Ayah in the video translates to:

"O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, in deeds some suspicions are sins. And spy not neither backbite one another. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would hate it (so hate backbiting). And fear Allah, verily, Allah is the one who accepts repentance, Most Merciful" (Al-Hujuraat 49: 12)

Single No More

This past weekend our beloved Zee aka Zarinah Nadir left the single life. She married Br. Mukhtar Conry of Brooklyn, NY. The wedding was very beautiful and i'm sure all the girls had a blast. I wish all the best to the new couple. May Allah swt bless thier marriage and give healthy righteous children. Ameen.

Reian is in Town...

...so we took her to dinner at P F Changs.

All of us at dinner


Huda, Reian and I

Then we decided to take a walk on mill, but it started to pour!

Huda playing the rain


I *LOVE* the rain!

So, after playing the rain for a little while, we took cover in Urban Outfitters.

Me and my hat


Huda playing dress up

After that we decided to brave the rain and walk back to the masjid. When we finally got there we were completely SOAKED!

I love my sister!

I love my sister sooooooooo much. She's the best sister in the whole world. She's the smartest and prettiest person I know. I thank Allah everyday that she is my sister. All you you should be jealous because she is not your sister. She is the ultimate Jaanu!

Boredom

Today was a slow day at work....

I agree with half of it.

My Personal Dna Report

At Last

I usually don't get into these reality talent shows, but a few weeks ago Samer was watching it and there was this really awesome acapella group. I was like sweeeeet! Halal music! I was excited so tonight I was gonna buy their CD, but then I found out that only 2 of the tracks are acapella. Oh well they are still cool.




Oh ya and so i went to watch Superman today with NH and the twins. It was pretty good. I really liked it. But the sad thing is my fav character DIES :(

Brotherly Love

The other night AF and HN were over at my house. We were all chillin in HN2's room and we started to fight. It was everyone against HN. Then I ended shooting him with one of those stupid trendy rubber bracelets. It ended up hurting more than I thought it would. He chased me upstairs and I locked myself in the bathroom like I usually do when hiding from one of my brothers. He eventually got in and wiped his disgusting sweaty not so bald head all over me. After we cooled off we were hanging out upstairs where SN was sleeping on the ground. HN started messing around with him. AF said that he had hobbit feet. As he was half awake HN and SN had the following conversation:

HN: You hear that? AF said you have hobbit feet.

SN: (staring blankly) Your FAT.


On a side note, I saw Cars tonight. It was awesome! If you haven't seen it you should. I think i'm gonna go buy it when it comes out. Tractor Tipping *rocks*

Barnyard Preview

Boy: (pushes cow over) This is what you call cow tipping.

Later that night in boys room...

Cow: (pushes boy out of bed) This is what you call BOY TIPPING! heh heh heh

Boy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I'm staying the night over at AF and HN's, since the rest of my family left me all alone.

Goodnight!

Chillin wit ma bro

Today was the first time that I’ve ever been to IKEA. It was so much fun! I was like a little kid in a candy shop going from each display to the next. I think Samer, who took me there, was a little scared.

We walked all around the store and then decided to have lunch. Well actually Samer wanted to go there specifically to have lunch after I dragged him to David's Bridal with me. I of course agreed since I’ve been wanting to go to IKEA pretty much since it opened.

Lunch was delicious. We shared a Chicken Caesar Salad, a Focaccia Bread Sandwich with Mozzarella, Roasted Red Pepper, and Basil, Chocolate Milk, and a Lingonberry Mousse (pictured above). All that for a whooping 10 bucks! Flippin sweet!

After that Samer got lost and I was really annoyed. (I really was not interested in searching for him in a humongous store.) But alhumdulilah the day ended well and we had a nice time together.

Flat Tire

Today was quite a day. Its 2:30 am and I just got home. After Jummah, AF, FM and I went out to lunch and then went to watch Pirates of the Caribbean. (Awesome movie but that’s not the point of the post, if you've already seen it make sure to tease HS about telling her what happens :P) Anyway, so AF, HS and I were supposed to go to Tucson for a MAS meeting. We ended up leaving later than scheduled because we caught a later movie showing. We were in a hurry because we were already late and we told BF that we were almost there even though we had just left. When we were about half way there we heard a noise, so we pulled over and sure enough we had a flat.

Alhamdulillah I know how to change a tire so I wasn't too panicked. We took everything out of the trunk and got out the spare only to realize that thanks to HN, there was no jack. This just so happened to be well after Maghrib so it was pretty dark and we were just chillin on the side of the road. We tried to get someone to stop, but after many tries of flailing my arms in the air nothing worked. AF tried to call DPS, but unfortunately we had no idea where we were. It didn't help that the lady on the phone was a complete moron either. HS and I started walking to find out what mile marker we were on when we realized someone had finally stopped. Alhamdulillah he was a really nice older man who helped tremendously. But he kept yelling at us for being too close to the road. He also pretty much gave us a nice lecture about tires as well. After he finished, the DPS decided to show up.

Alhamdulillah we got to Tucson safe and sound. The meeting was interesting. We had some fun, got to see ZH, MH, AA and a bunch of other girls. We finally made it home after having to drive 60 the whole way.

New Post

Happy? :P

I hate packing...

12 more hours and we will be on our way to the land of enchantment. Where the heck did that come from anyway? Apparently they just made it up. *gosh* what losers...

Deferred

Yesterday CAIR-AZ sponsored a Red Cross Blood Drive at ICC. ALhumdulilah it went pretty well. There was a steady flow of donors, although a few were deferred for differnt reasons, including myself. Apparently my hematocrit level was too low to donate. That means i don't have enough red blood cells. Oh well at least I tried. (Unlike some people who are too scared of needles...no names... but starts with a B and ends with a K.)

Later that night I went out to dinner with BK, HH, SH, F, A, and M. We went to Cafe Boa on Mill. I never knew tempe had cute restaurants like that. It reminded me of the time HS, AF and I went to that restaurant in Newport, RI. Our waitress kinda sucked big time. But she made it up when she took a couple pictures for us at the end. The food was great. According to HH they have THE BEST Italian food ever. They also have Live Jazz music which HH was a little too excited about.

After dinner, I finally got to ZA's grad party which I was supposed to go to originally. Got there right after they cut the cake. Said hi to a few people and left. ZA looked gorgeous mashaAllah.

Today I went to VS's house for dinner. I decided to wear my falestini thoub. SN wasn't gonna come, but i convinced him and told him to put on his thoub also. Then I made him wear a kuffiya and took some pics.

$25,000 Muslim Wedding

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Scene of the Accident

As we were working on finishing up the activities for this weekend, HN decided to test out the 'potato sack'. All was well until he came crashing down INTO the wall. (Literally!)

Caution! Graphic Photos Below!

MF looks on in awe seconds after the crash .

The scene of the accident.

Officer WA securing the scene.

**Photos courtesy of RA and her new camera**

MABROOK!

Off we go...

Just got home a little while ago from the MAS Youth Center. We were finishing up last minute stuff for the camp. We leave tomorrow at 9am inshaAllah. Its gonna be lots of fun insahAllah! We will miss everyone that couldn't make it.

Now I just gotta go figure out what to pack :( Hopefully i'll make it to bed before I have to wake up!

Hope everyone else has a great weekend!

Salaaaaaaaamzah!

Innocently Dumb

After BK and I finished at CAIR, we stopped by the bank before going to dinner. As we were leaving the bank....

Innocently dumb white guy: Heeeeeey... Where are you guys from?

BK and RN: (look at each other in confusion)

BK: (Abruptly) Shes from Tempe and i'm from Pakistan.

Innocently dumb white guy: (looking at RN) Are you Pakistanian also?

RN: No.

Innocently dumb white guy: (waving his hand around his head) I was just wondering since you are wearing those things on your head.

African Muslim Guy who is standing behind the white guy: Its because they are Muslim.

BK: (not having heard the Muslim guy properly) Huh?

African Muslim Guy: Are you Muslim?

BK: Yes.

African Muslim Guy: You wear it because you are Muslim.

BK: Oh, yes.

White Guy: (in a stoned kinda voice) Oh so you wear it because you are muslims?

(BK does her Dawa thang)

We walk out.

I think we were both really out of it and the whole situation came to us as a surprise. But we couldn't stop laughing afterward.

Macho Men Vs Chaiya Chaiya

For those of you that missed Armaan and Urooj's Weekend of Wedding Festivities, you can catch a glimpse of some of the performances thanks to KK and You Tube.

Boy's Debka



Village People



Chaiyya Chaiyya



Enjoy!

Meebo

SaltySarah asked what Meebo was. Some of you may have seen the link on the side, and some maybe have even clicked on it to figure it out for themselves. But for those whom are too lazy or just really don't care, I tell you.

Meebo is an awesome web based messenger thingy. (ya very technical) Basically you can sign into Google Talk, AIM, MSN Messenger, Yahoo Messenger, and ICQ from this website without having to download a single messenger. Its great for work when your not allowed to download anything and its not already on the computers. If you register for a meebo account, it will log you into all the screen names for the differnt messengers at one time.

First of the Season

After work I was waiting to get picked up and was literally being blown away from the wind. I felt a few sprinkles and as soon as I got in the car it started pouring! I love AZ rain. Days like these are what makes the summer heat bearable. (i'm sure a lot of ppl will disagree with that :P) I was going to blog this when I got home, but the power was out. Not sure what time it came back on. I went out to dinner with Atifa, Azra, Rawa and Huda. Alhumduilah we had a good time. Now its late and I need to sleep since I didn't get to last night. Damn summer school!

Out Sick

I'm sick. I've had a headache since yesterday, my whole body is aching, I just found out I have a fever, my throat hurts, ,and I’m all stuffed up.

On top of that I have a bunch of homework due tonight for cursed summer school. Please make dua for me.

Crisis!

As Atifa was researching Kuwait's marriage scholarhip that I told her about, she came across this article, ِIs Celibacy becoming a curse to Arab society? by Yahya Al-ous.

"...the crucial question is: What is the percentage of men and women who have chosen, by their own preference, a celibate life over a married life, and what are their reasons for this? The answer to this question is elusive, as many young Arab men and women state that marriage is no longer the essential thing that it was for their mothers and fathers, and that they have chosen a single life for many reasons. This may be a reflection of the extent of the effect of Western societies upon those of our own without our youth being consciously aware of it."

I'm going to relate this to not just Arabs, but all Muslims, and especially those in the West. Muslims are already a minority in the west, but we are growing rapidly. I'm not sure about the US but, in Europe, the population is actually declining. This is due to less and less people getting married, and those that do get married have very few children if any at all. On the other hand, for Muslims it is very much reccomended to get married and have children. I think that one day Muslim will become the majority in the West if non-muslims continue to not have children. But unfortunately it is apparent from the article that today's youth are taking on a more western attitude that marriage is not nessesary. This indeed is a crisis.

We must all do what we can to end the crisis!

The Huq-Sheikh Couple

Mabrouk to the new Huq-Sheikh Couple, Armaan and Urooj. This weekend has been exhausting, but tons of fun. I wish them all the best, and inshaAllah they will have a blessed marriage with lots of tranquility and many righteous children.

Pics are up from their Mehndi as well as Shaadi #1 and Shaadi #2.

What Happens When 15 Guys Take a Picture?

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